This week, we're breaking away from our normal QB Index formatting to present our ranking of all 32 starting signal-callers in haiku form. Why? Here's a better question: Why not? Let's go.
Be sure to catch this week's surprise bonus episode of the , where Marc and Gregg Rosenthal dig into the Haiku edition of the QB Index.
NOTE: Up/down arrows illustrate movement from the Week 6 QB Index. Rankings reflect each quarterback's standing heading into Week 7.
2022 stats: 6 games | 66.9 pct | 1,980 pass yds | 8.3 ypa | 17 pass TD | 4 INT | 257 rush yds | 2 rush TD | 5 fumbles
Arching over a
Into full wonder
2022 stats: 6 games | 65.9 pct | 1,736 pass yds | 7.6 ypa | 17 pass TD | 4 INT | 113 rush yds | 0 rush TD | 1 fumble
If only my side
Wasn鈥檛 penalized
2022 stats: 6 games | 66.8 pct | 1,514 pass yds | 8.2 ypa | 6 pass TD | 2 INT | 293 rush yds | 6 rush TD | 3 fumbles
They built a statue
. Four months away from
A Jalen carving?
2022 stats: 6 games | 61.9 pct | 1,277 pass yds | 7.1 ypa | 13 pass TD | 6 INT | 451 rush yds | 2 rush TD | 3 fumbles
Betwixt the G-Men
I rumbled and roamed until
2022 stats: 6 games | 66.1 pct | 1,716 pass yds | 6.7 ypa | 10 pass TD | 3 INT | 26 rush yds | 0 rush TD | 1 fumble
Human tornado
Trapped inside hyper-milquetoast
Bolts offensive scheme
2022 stats: 6 games | 67.2 pct | 1,652 pass yds | 6.7 ypa | 8 pass TD | 1 INT | -7 rush yds | 0 rush TD | 3 fumbles
Brady on edge. Red
Faced inside a drab field goal
Offense. Can鈥檛 blame Bruce
2022 stats: 6 games | 73.4 pct | 1,502 pass yds | 8 ypa | 9 pass TD | 2 INT |125 rush yds | 1 rush TD | 2 fumbles
The author of this
Column giggled at me in
August. Now he鈥檚 hushed
2022 stats: 6 games | 66.7 pct | 1,616 pass yds | 7.1 ypa | 12 pass TD | 5 INT | 110 rush yds | 2 rush TD | 3 fumbles
Flip the switch, Bengals vibe as
AFC heavies
2022 stats: 6 games | 67 pct | 1,403 pass yds | 6.7 ypa | 9 pass TD | 3 INT | 9 rush yds | 0 rush TD | 5 fumbles
Agitated. Peeved.
Wait, is that New York Jets guy
2022 stats: 6 games | 66.2 pct | 1,502 pass yds | 6.6 ypa | 9 pass TD | 5 INT | 18 rush yds | 1 rush TD | 1 fumble
His name: Mr. Tease
White-hot quarters mixed with long
Stretches of deep sleep
2022 stats: 6 games | 65.1 pct | 1,463 pass yds | 5.8 ypa | 6 pass TD | 4 INT | 233 rush yds | 2 rush TD | 4 fumbles
鈥淩ookie year, that is
probably the last time [bad
word] has felt this hard鈥
2022 stats: 5 games | 61.4 pct | 1,279 pass yds | 7 ypa | 8 pass TD | 4 INT | 69 rush yds | 0 rush TD | 2 fumbles
Earthlings: Prepare for
Run-heavy uprising with
Carr at motherboard
2022 stats: 6 games | 71.1 pct | 1,576 pass yds | 7 ypa | 6 pass TD | 8 INT | 7 rush yds | 0 rush TD | 4 fumbles
AT&T ads
Should be fewer. Pick-sixes
Should be fewer, too
2022 stats: 5 games | 59.7 pct | 1,355 pass yds | 7.3 ypa | 11 pass TD | 4 INT | 23 rush yds | 0 rush TD | 2 fumbles
Oft-adequate Goff
Lucky there are not thirty
Other
2022 stats: 6 games | 67.3 pct | 1,021 pass yds | 6.4 ypa | 5 pass TD | 2 INT | 236 rush yds | 2 rush TD | 2 fumbles
Operating as
A Saquon Handoff Robot
Who does just enough
2022 stats: 6 games | 61.3 pct | 1,055 pass yds | 7.7 ypa | 6 pass TD | 4 INT | 206 rush yds | 3 rush TD | 7 fumbles
I flung a TD
To Kyle Pitts. Time to chill
Fantasy nimrods
2022 stats: 3 games | 63.1 pct | 585 pass yds | 7 ypa | 3 pass TD | 1 INT | 7 rush yds | 0 rush TD | 1 fumble
Glowing Red Ginger
Man: Basic skillz, achy back.
Attention: Taysom
2022 stats: 6 games | 65.5 pct | 1,397 pass yds | 6.9 ypa | 9 pass TD | 4 INT | 81 rush yds | 2 rush TD | 4 fumbles
Is there a franchise
Hero beyond the flowing
Locks and hot/cold act?
2022 stats: 6 games | 58.6 pct | 1,442 pass yds | 7.3 ypa | 5 pass TD | 3 INT | 96 rush yds | 1 rush TD | 1 fumble
Fifteen depressing
is not
What Denver paid for
2022 stats: 6 games | 67.2 pct | 1,765 pass yds | 7 ypa | 8 pass TD | 7 INT | 9 rush yds | 0 rush TD | 11 fumbles
Sad autumn brighter
After Matty Ice hurls a
Wild fifty-eight throws
2022 stats: 6 games | 62.1 pct | 1,489 pass yds | 6.4 ypa | 10 pass TD | 6 INT | 79 rush yds | 0 rush TD | 6 fumbles
Bum digit delays
Wentz quest to, you know, really
2022 stats: 3 games | 66.3 pct | 514 pass yds | 6.2 ypa | 1 pass TD | 4 INT | 41 rush yds | 2 rush TD | 1 fumble
But Kenny鈥檚 tape tells tales of
Hope when not concussed
2022 stats: 6 games | 60.2 pct | 1,326 pass yds | 6.4 ypa | 6 pass TD | 5 INT | 112 rush yds | 1 rush TD | 2 fumbles
Jacoby passes
Forty-five times. Chubb carries
Twelve. Pats explode Browns
2022 stats: 3 games | 56 pct | 572 pass yds | 7.6 ypa | 1 pass TD | 2 INT | 18 rush yds | 1 rush TD | 0 fumbles
The boy who will lead
The Baby Jets to playoff
Glory come winter
2022 stats: 3 games | 72.9 pct | 596 pass yds | 8.5 ypa | 4 pass TD | 1 INT | 1 rush yd | 0 rush TD | 3 fumbles
Belichickian
Wonderboy laughs at inane
And lost Browns defense
2022 stats: 6 games | 57.7 pct | 1,020 pass yds | 6.5 ypa | 5 pass TD | 3 INT | 6 rush yds | 0 rush TD | 2 fumbles
Time for Jerrah to
Leave a suitcase full of green
Bills in my locker
2022 stats: 5 games | 62.7 pct | 1,048 pass yds | 6.3 ypa | 5 pass TD | 4 INT | 2 rush yds | 0 rush TD | 4 fumbles
Mills鈥 big audition
Falling flat. Caserio鈥檚
Wandering eye glows
2022 stats: 2 games | 68.2 pct | 120 pass yds | 5.4 ypa | 0 pass TD | 0 INT | -1 rush yd | 0 rush TD | 0 fumbles
Gnarliest job in
Charlotte. Will Walker be stripped
Of McCaffrey, too?
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