I need to trade Aaron Rodgers.
Me. Not you. Because he's not bad. Like, far from it. In fact, it's annoying how good he is. Like Sunday night. Drew Brees is out there crow-hopping. Hitting a cut-off man to complete a ball 12 yards. And Rodgers is out there flicking his wrist and completing 60-yard bombs. Like who wants you out there anyway? Don't you have some commercials to go film?
But I guess fantasy enthusiasts (like me, sadly) and Packers fans still want him out there. But I just can't do it anymore. You see, there were three quarterbacks I had targeted in my fantasy drafts this year. I had Rodgers. Jared Goff. And Cam Newton as guys I wanted. With a heavy emphasis on Rodgers in leagues where you get six points for passing touchdowns. And through the first two weeks of the season, it was pretty great. And I mean it's great when you're watching the points from his production magically appear in our all-new ¹ú²úÍâÁ÷ÍøFantasy App (which is pretty rad, you can watch games on it and everything).
It's quite another thing when you're watching Rodgers play in prime time and you start to do the unthinkable – you sort of hope he throws a touchdown pass to help you beat your friend David. It's quite the crisis of conscious. A real moral dilemma. I now understand why the Horsemen always turned on Sting. Like it's cool to have him on your side because he's one of the best in the profession. But just being around that smug goody-goody for too long can only turn to contempt.
And while I understand that swinging a metal folding chair might be frowned upon by my employer; that leaves me the only option of dropping him (I'm morally conflicted, not stupid) or trading him away. So, any takers?
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